Anyonghaseyo!

I have returned from Korea and it was an absolute blast! I'm seriously jet-lagged and definitely not on the right sleeping sched yet. It's 3pm and I just woke up....but they may have to do with staying up til 4am and taking tylenol pm to sleep. Might not have been so smart. I'll have to be smarter tonight cuz I'm playing in church tomorrow. Oh...better practice that music.

So yeah, I'm hoping I'll post some stuff about the trip. I'll try to. But I'm still working on uploading pics to facebook and I'm only on Day 3 of 10. It could be awhile.

So yeah, just saying hi to anyone. I actually should be getting ready for a bday party. I really should've gotten up earlier.

Tally the Northern Excursion

I headed north this past weekend for a very good friend's wedding, and since I was driving so far north I decided to make a decent trip out of it, even if I was only getting a motel for one night. And instead of just blobbing out what happened I'll make it a little more interesting by tallying the events.

4 - hrs of sleep before leaving at 6am Saturday
2 - Starbucks coffees during entire trip
800 - approximate miles driven
lost track - wrong turns made in Roseville
also lost track - u-turns made in Roseville
0 - useful maps AAA provided me (it's dumb that they don't carry every city's map now and that you have to find a AAA in the desired area to get the city map)
1 - shirt bought at AE
numerous - strange/curious looks at Roseville Galleria due to my jeans and western boots (guess I looked a little out of place in a higher end mall)
1 - delicious lunch at Il Fornaio-Roseville (this is interesting as I went to an Il Fornaio in Beverly Hills 7 years ago for my 18th bday, yet I hardly remember ANY of it out of what must be self preservation due to it being with my ex who 2 weeks later dumped me over the phone...that's all I can figure)
1 - glass of Bray '05? Sangiovese (great)
1 - limo ride to the wedding (my first time in a limo! and it made up for getting so lost and thinking I wasn't going to make it to the wedding)
2 - people I knew at the wedding: the groom and his mother (seriously...)
3 - times I nearly cried at the wedding/reception
almost 1 - bouquet caught, but an interception was made, and that's ok cuz I'm not sure what I would've thought had I caught it
2 - guys danced with: the groom and the best man
1 - line dance performed with a lot of girls (I'm sure glad the bride loves country...maybe she'll set my friend straight and push him beyond Garth, though Garth is great )
1 - occurrence of being pulled over by the Roseville Police I wasn't breaking any laws, just trying to find the streets I missed earlier so I could get back to my hotel, but I turned left onto a street and noticed a cop behind me. I merged into a left turn lane, came to a stop sign, paused and confirmed that maybe I should go left and the cop whipped right up behind me. I was still unsure and right as I started to turn left he flipped on his lights and I realized I didn't use my signal. There's enough probable cause to pull me over. He drilled me with questions about my car, why I was in Roseville, where I was staying, etc. I told him up front I was lost and I really wasn't nervous anyway. The irony: he pulled me over right in front of the street I needed and had missed earlier that day. He returned my license, said have a good night and left. Did I mention this was the first time I've EVER been pulled over? Adam called it my dress rehearsal. I'd rather not have a real performance.
7 - hrs of fitfull sleep in a squeaky king bed
1 - absolutely tasty breakfast at the best breakfast place ever: Sweetie Pie's in Placerville
1 - tasty cinnamon roll with nuts that accompanied me home and awaits my morning hunger
2 - pics of barns in Placer County
~20  - pics of main streets and old historic buildings
lost track - wineries/vineyards passed out in Amador County
10 - wines tasted at Sobon Estate, and they were all very good
4 - wines purchased...because I couldn't narrow it down for anything
2 - hrs spent in Sutter Creek looking at antique shops and whatnot
3 - CDs listened to about 1849 and particularly the gold country that is Sutter Creek and its surroundings
2 - other towns driven through (Jackson and Ione) but hardly stopped since nothing caught the eye
4 - trucker honks on I-5. Were they bored? If I passed the same guy twice and he honked twice, is it still counted as two? That same trucker radio'd up to the next truck to take a look as I passed. I swear...he was lookin' right at me as I passed and had his radio up. It was weird
~12 - hrs spent on the road
n - hrs of sleep needed to make up for such a trip
n - hrs of practicing music needed to make up for such a trip
n - miles of cycling needed to work off such a trip
n+n+n - things I don't really want to do. Take that back...n+n, I guess, cuz I'd love to take a nap right now

Currently Listening The Altar and the Door By Casting Crowns White Dove, Fly High see related

Less than one month

I leave for Korea on Aug 9. Do you know how soon that is? Way too soon! I have so much practicing to do and not enough time!

If you didn't know, the San Luis Obispo Wind Orchestra is travelling to Jeju Island in South Korea to perform in the Jeju International Wind Ensemble Festival. Wow! I believe at this point we're one of two American groups, but the only full wind orchestra (I don't know how we swung that, but I do believe we have som good connections). We will also be performing at a church in Seoul while staying at the Grand Hilton Seoul (I love Grand Hiltons...and this will be no exception I'm sure). But only after we...*drumroll*...travel to Kumgang Mtn, North Korea, where we will be the "professional centerpiece" for a small music festival. Now I don't know about the professional part. We're good, but pro? If they think so, then cool. But North Korea!! Who has been to North Korea? Not many. I'm still not sure about all the politics involved (especially after the recent events involving the shooting of a S. Korean tourist who found herself in a military restricted area...it all sounds a little sketchy to me. Someone's not sharing the whole story), but I'm sure we'll be watched carefully. The NY Phil performed in N. Korea earlier this year, so we'll be the second group. This is quite amazing. And just last night I was potentially wrangled into the wind quintet which will be performing in Korea. That has me a mite nervous because it's even more music to learn.

So I have a lot of preparation to do. Part of that involves over $300 of immunizations on Wednesday (not a fan at all - I'm hoping I'll be able to lift my arms to play at rehearsal that night). The other involves practicing a lot of music for the orchestra, plus potentially practicing quintet music. But I'm also in summer band playing 1st Flute (principal?) so I need to be strong on those parts too. Man... Oh, and I have to finish designing this concert postcard, I'll probably have to design tickets and print them, and design the concert program, all before I leave.

So if you're in SLO or nearby, come to SLO Methodist Church, Friday Aug 8 at 8pm to hear selections of our tour repertoire and generally support us. We'd love it. It's always more fun to play to an audience. :)

And ya know how I said I had so many topics I wanted to write about? They're still there. Waiting. Right now everything's chaotic though. I'm finding myself stretched thin wondering what God's doing in my life and trying to teach me with all these trials, none of which I've really spoken about here. Eventually, perhaps. All I can do is pray. Lord, I'd love a stressful dream-free night of sleep. Bummer, it's already midnight again. I'm failing at this getting more sleep thing.

Bang...dead

Ever have an artistic epiphany? Something hits you and you get this great idea for a piece of art (or perhaps music, etc.). Everything about it seems so amazing and so you share the idea with a friend because you want them to be involved (this is a multi-person project). You tell them about it, how it expresses your idea, how it'd be executed, etc. Then they bring up a point regarding your idea...a completely valid point that had not occurred to you until that very moment, and it's a point that cannot be denied nor ignored lest the art become only a half representation, and you don't do things "half-assed" so to speak. Well, congrats, your epiphany has been shot down. Inspiration is lost completely. Idea is null and void.

Crap.

And when you verbally respond with "well...crap...so much for that" your friend feels bad because they just killed your artistic motivation. Oh well, too late. These epiphanies are few and far between.

My spirits were rather smooshed tonight.

Currently Listening Copland: Appalachian Spring; Rodeo; Fanfare for the Common Man Rodeo- Hoedown see related

Performance and Reward

I don't know how many of you perform as part of your career or an interest. I perform in the realm of music, specifically on flute in a community wind orchestra (SLOWO). I've been playing the flute since 6th grade, so that's somewhere in the neighborhood of 14yrs. Over those years, I've played in concert bands, marching bands, a jazz band, numerous solo/ensemble competitions, in church worship, at friends' weddings, and even my G-pa's funeral. I love music and wish more of the community/world could experience it, so much so that I joined a fraternity during college whose mission was/is to promote college and university bands. Kappa Kappa Psi is an awesome brotherhood of people who genuinely care about music and its performance and the ability to reach people with it. I'm now an alumna brother (yeah, sounds odd huh?) and therefore not so involved in that respect. I currently play in the community wind orchestra as well as my church orchestra. Both are enjoyable and I love playing with them. SLOWO is a constant challenge, musically, and church is a musical challenge occasionally, but more of a test in patience and humility as I wait for others to figure out that they're playing in the wrong key, the wrong rhythm, or just not really reading the music at all. The Bible does say "make a joyful noise," not "make a completely in-tune, on beat, pure sound every single time." God must have been accounting for everyone's ability, myself included. So I do still immerse myself in music.

Being in SLOWO has been a great experience and I've learned so so much in the short time I've been involved. I'm one of, if not the youngest non-student member of the group. Most everyone's in their 40s and well above, so I'm new blood, age-wise and repertoire-wise. I played in concert bands in HS, but didn't during college, so I haven't played all those standard wind band pieces and I generally feel a little green when new music is passed out and everyone says "oh yeah...we've played this before." I'm learning and I'm playing more of the music, great music. And I practice, though not as much as I should. I should have those runs down for the concert, but many times I'm just not able to get it all under my fingers. I aspire to be principal flute in years to come when my ability proves me, and when the spot opens up. For now, I'm content as 1st flute as it is a serious challenge and is pushing me farther in my musical ability.

I work hard up to the performance, and I'm sure others do as well. I'm also sure there are others who don't, but that's life. This past season I accomplished a solo which was by no means easy for me. It was only 12 notes but included slurs from D to F# above the staff, and anyone who plays flute knows F# is an ungodly note and one that doesn't come easily, and sometimes doesn't come at all. For me, until just before that concert, F# did not come. It cracked and shrieked and embarassed me. What kind of musician am I if I cannot get a silly note out? With some technique instruction I was able to perform the solo well, though I'm sure it could've been better (it always can be). And that season finale concert was awesome: a great set of music and everyone sounded wonderful, maybe even the best we've sounded yet. That was a good feeling.

However, here's where I come to my dilemma of sorts. I love performing music and I always have. Playing music is a way to express feeling, though the music may not be your own. Yet by playing it you put yourself in the music. There have been many times in the past couple of years during concerts or Sunday worship where I've actually teared up due to the immensity of the music inside me. It's beautiful, and the swells of brass and woodwinds causes everything in me to nearly burst. It's hard to explain and wonderful to experience. I can have the same experience as an audience member at a great concert as well, but there's more to it when you've practiced for so much time and you're now performing it. I don't know what the rest of the audience thinks during a concert. I don't know how engaged they are, and at the end I don't always see the same joy, or musical afterglow, that I've experienced. What does the audience feel after a concert, and perhaps more specifically, a concert given by a community group like SLOWO?

I mentioned in my last post that I saw a ballet which was absolutely fantastic. I enjoyed it so much and when it was all done I was torn between wanting to sit in my seat and just bask in the greatness of it or hurry to the lobby in search of J. to give him a hug and tell him how amazing it was. After ballets and plays everyone rushes to the lobby, I'm guessing because they want to see the performers in costume and congratulate them and exclaim how wonderful the show was. There's a bit of starstruck madness in all of us, even if the stars are only local or even family. Perhaps it's a desire to somehow share in the triumph of a job well done. Take all that excitement and contrast that with what happens after a musical performance. Everyone claps, and maybe you get a standing ovation as well, which is always welcome, but then what? We don't rush to the lobby in hopes of meeting the performers. As one of the performers I don't rush to the lobby, perhaps because more often than not I'm not expecting to see anyone I know, so why bother? If family or friends are in attendance then of course I'll go look for them and thank them for coming and find out what they thought of the concert. But it's different. It's not the same excitement. Really, you should've been in the lobby after that ballet. It was electric! Alive with so many bustling bodies, many carrying bouquets of flowers for their favored performer. If a lobby is alive after a musical performance it seems simply because everyone's shuffling out of the concert hall toward their cars, talking along the way, maybe about the music, maybe about where they should all eat dinner or get drinks. It's hard to know. I'm a musician and I usually see concerts with fellow musicians so naturally we discuss the music. I can't speak for the general public. But in my mind there's a marked difference.

Which leads me to wonder...is one performance type more valuable and enjoyable than another? Is a dance performance or a play more socially engaging than a wind or symphony orchestra concert? Does the caliber matter or would you find the same dichotomy when comparing the LA Phil at Disney Concert Hall and a Broadway musical performance? Is a concert engaging at all? Can a person relate to music as easily as to a character or a dance? Are people more inclined to visual beauty than aural? I know I enjoy seeing a symphony perform more than a wind orchestra because I love watching the bows rise and fall like wind over a field of grass. There's nothing so dynamic about wind instruments unless you're a trombonist, or you play in the percussion section. You can't see the flautist's fingers speedily racing up the keys if you're in the lower orchestra seating. And I love watching ballet because I'm an artist and lines in bodies grab me as much as hearing a clear French Horn tone or seeing an elegant font. So is music not as appealing to society as a physical performance? Is physical effort more rewarding?

I'm interested in your thoughts. When I compare the two I find my end a little lacking in external reward I guess. I feel personal reward at accomplishment, a sense of pride for performing well (or well enough...I never think I do a great job) and for sharing such an experience with the audience. But would I experience more if I performed physically? Think about it. Share it.