| | I don't know how many of you perform as part of your career or an interest. I perform in the realm of music, specifically on flute in a community wind orchestra (SLOWO). I've been playing the flute since 6th grade, so that's somewhere in the neighborhood of 14yrs. Over those years, I've played in concert bands, marching bands, a jazz band, numerous solo/ensemble competitions, in church worship, at friends' weddings, and even my G-pa's funeral. I love music and wish more of the community/world could experience it, so much so that I joined a fraternity during college whose mission was/is to promote college and university bands. Kappa Kappa Psi is an awesome brotherhood of people who genuinely care about music and its performance and the ability to reach people with it. I'm now an alumna brother (yeah, sounds odd huh?) and therefore not so involved in that respect. I currently play in the community wind orchestra as well as my church orchestra. Both are enjoyable and I love playing with them. SLOWO is a constant challenge, musically, and church is a musical challenge occasionally, but more of a test in patience and humility as I wait for others to figure out that they're playing in the wrong key, the wrong rhythm, or just not really reading the music at all. The Bible does say "make a joyful noise," not "make a completely in-tune, on beat, pure sound every single time." God must have been accounting for everyone's ability, myself included. So I do still immerse myself in music. Being in SLOWO has been a great experience and I've learned so so much in the short time I've been involved. I'm one of, if not the youngest non-student member of the group. Most everyone's in their 40s and well above, so I'm new blood, age-wise and repertoire-wise. I played in concert bands in HS, but didn't during college, so I haven't played all those standard wind band pieces and I generally feel a little green when new music is passed out and everyone says "oh yeah...we've played this before." I'm learning and I'm playing more of the music, great music. And I practice, though not as much as I should. I should have those runs down for the concert, but many times I'm just not able to get it all under my fingers. I aspire to be principal flute in years to come when my ability proves me, and when the spot opens up. For now, I'm content as 1st flute as it is a serious challenge and is pushing me farther in my musical ability. I work hard up to the performance, and I'm sure others do as well. I'm also sure there are others who don't, but that's life. This past season I accomplished a solo which was by no means easy for me. It was only 12 notes but included slurs from D to F# above the staff, and anyone who plays flute knows F# is an ungodly note and one that doesn't come easily, and sometimes doesn't come at all. For me, until just before that concert, F# did not come. It cracked and shrieked and embarassed me. What kind of musician am I if I cannot get a silly note out? With some technique instruction I was able to perform the solo well, though I'm sure it could've been better (it always can be). And that season finale concert was awesome: a great set of music and everyone sounded wonderful, maybe even the best we've sounded yet. That was a good feeling. However, here's where I come to my dilemma of sorts. I love performing music and I always have. Playing music is a way to express feeling, though the music may not be your own. Yet by playing it you put yourself in the music. There have been many times in the past couple of years during concerts or Sunday worship where I've actually teared up due to the immensity of the music inside me. It's beautiful, and the swells of brass and woodwinds causes everything in me to nearly burst. It's hard to explain and wonderful to experience. I can have the same experience as an audience member at a great concert as well, but there's more to it when you've practiced for so much time and you're now performing it. I don't know what the rest of the audience thinks during a concert. I don't know how engaged they are, and at the end I don't always see the same joy, or musical afterglow, that I've experienced. What does the audience feel after a concert, and perhaps more specifically, a concert given by a community group like SLOWO? I mentioned in my last post that I saw a ballet which was absolutely fantastic. I enjoyed it so much and when it was all done I was torn between wanting to sit in my seat and just bask in the greatness of it or hurry to the lobby in search of J. to give him a hug and tell him how amazing it was. After ballets and plays everyone rushes to the lobby, I'm guessing because they want to see the performers in costume and congratulate them and exclaim how wonderful the show was. There's a bit of starstruck madness in all of us, even if the stars are only local or even family. Perhaps it's a desire to somehow share in the triumph of a job well done. Take all that excitement and contrast that with what happens after a musical performance. Everyone claps, and maybe you get a standing ovation as well, which is always welcome, but then what? We don't rush to the lobby in hopes of meeting the performers. As one of the performers I don't rush to the lobby, perhaps because more often than not I'm not expecting to see anyone I know, so why bother? If family or friends are in attendance then of course I'll go look for them and thank them for coming and find out what they thought of the concert. But it's different. It's not the same excitement. Really, you should've been in the lobby after that ballet. It was electric! Alive with so many bustling bodies, many carrying bouquets of flowers for their favored performer. If a lobby is alive after a musical performance it seems simply because everyone's shuffling out of the concert hall toward their cars, talking along the way, maybe about the music, maybe about where they should all eat dinner or get drinks. It's hard to know. I'm a musician and I usually see concerts with fellow musicians so naturally we discuss the music. I can't speak for the general public. But in my mind there's a marked difference. Which leads me to wonder...is one performance type more valuable and enjoyable than another? Is a dance performance or a play more socially engaging than a wind or symphony orchestra concert? Does the caliber matter or would you find the same dichotomy when comparing the LA Phil at Disney Concert Hall and a Broadway musical performance? Is a concert engaging at all? Can a person relate to music as easily as to a character or a dance? Are people more inclined to visual beauty than aural? I know I enjoy seeing a symphony perform more than a wind orchestra because I love watching the bows rise and fall like wind over a field of grass. There's nothing so dynamic about wind instruments unless you're a trombonist, or you play in the percussion section. You can't see the flautist's fingers speedily racing up the keys if you're in the lower orchestra seating. And I love watching ballet because I'm an artist and lines in bodies grab me as much as hearing a clear French Horn tone or seeing an elegant font. So is music not as appealing to society as a physical performance? Is physical effort more rewarding? I'm interested in your thoughts. When I compare the two I find my end a little lacking in external reward I guess. I feel personal reward at accomplishment, a sense of pride for performing well (or well enough...I never think I do a great job) and for sharing such an experience with the audience. But would I experience more if I performed physically? Think about it. Share it. |
